Recruiter: Hi Chad, I hope you’re well. The reason I’m reaching you is we have a brand new position that matched your listed interest in the BI/Analyst space. If that’s no longer your interest, feel free to send me an updated resume so you can receive better notifications.
My response: I identify as a refuge from Neptune. Is that a problem?
Recruiter: Welcome to Earth. We hope you find your stay here enjoyable.
Unfortunately, due to inter-galactic employment regulations, you’ll have to fill out some special forms, including providing a full DNA sequence. Is that a problem?
Me: Well, as you probably know, Neptunians are RNA-based but the idea is the same. I would have no problem submitting to your barbaric customs because I am keen to infiltrate your culture and acquire the knowledge necessary for my people, well, beings anyway, to succeed on Earth.
Well, she never replied so I guess that’s that. No RNA for her.
Equal Rights for Neptunians