Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Equal Rights for Neptunians

I’m pretty sure all recruiters look like this. Yes, even you Bob.

Recruiter:  Hi Chad, I hope you’re well. The reason I’m reaching you is we have a brand new position that matched your listed interest in the BI/Analyst space. If that’s no longer your interest, feel free to send me an updated resume so you can receive better notifications. 


Home Sweet Home

My response: I identify as a refuge from Neptune. Is that a problem?

Recruiter:  Welcome to Earth. We hope you find your stay here enjoyable.

Paper is delicious

Unfortunately, due to inter-galactic employment regulations, you’ll have to fill out some special forms, including providing a full DNA sequence. Is that a problem?



Me: Well, as you probably know, Neptunians are RNA-based but the idea is the same. I would have no problem submitting to your barbaric customs because I am keen to infiltrate your culture and acquire the knowledge necessary for my people, well, beings anyway, to succeed on Earth.




Well, she never replied so I guess that’s that. No RNA for her.


Equal Rights for Neptunians