Monday, March 28, 2016

My day job... Guess the programs I use & WIN!

If you get all of these right, I’ll send you a free copy (as soon as it’s published) of:

Sunstrike: Book One

Toss your guesses in the “WHAT DO YOU THINK?” section at the bottom of the page.

These are the applications I use throughout the day at my office. No hints as to what my day job is or where… you’ll have to figure that out on your own!

The images have been obfuscated so blowing them up won’t help.


2016-03-28 09_56_44

I’ll start with an easy one


2016-03-28 09_53_18

This one is pretty obscure but I believe in you!


2016-03-28 09_55_44

Don’t let the color scheme fool you!


2016-03-28 09_57_31

Everyone should recognize this application.


2016-03-28 09_58_35

Time to show me what you’ve got!



2016-03-28 10_00_21

Where my geeks at?



The final challenge!

The final challenge!

I reserve the right to end, modify or update this giveaway at any time for any or no reason.

My day job... Guess the programs I use & WIN!

Sunday, March 27, 2016

I need a cover

I want a cover that depicts a little about the story while also versatile enough that I can use the same theme for the rest in the series.

Just my thought for now. I’ll post something for your entertainment soon.

I need a cover

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Now the real work begins

Book 1 is off to the editor!

That’s about all I have to say other than I’m a little anxious.

In an effort to stay busy and not think about it I’ve started a rough outline of book two.

Now the real work begins

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Equal Rights for Neptunians

I’m pretty sure all recruiters look like this. Yes, even you Bob.

Recruiter:  Hi Chad, I hope you’re well. The reason I’m reaching you is we have a brand new position that matched your listed interest in the BI/Analyst space. If that’s no longer your interest, feel free to send me an updated resume so you can receive better notifications. 


Home Sweet Home

My response: I identify as a refuge from Neptune. Is that a problem?

Recruiter:  Welcome to Earth. We hope you find your stay here enjoyable.

Paper is delicious

Unfortunately, due to inter-galactic employment regulations, you’ll have to fill out some special forms, including providing a full DNA sequence. Is that a problem?



Me: Well, as you probably know, Neptunians are RNA-based but the idea is the same. I would have no problem submitting to your barbaric customs because I am keen to infiltrate your culture and acquire the knowledge necessary for my people, well, beings anyway, to succeed on Earth.




Well, she never replied so I guess that’s that. No RNA for her.


Equal Rights for Neptunians

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

I've completed my first draft of my first book! Or have I?

The first draft of the first book is done[!/?]

I’ve read a lot of differing opinions regarding word count. My original target was 50k words and that target was carefully chosen after a moment’s thought and only a little research.

As I continued cranking out the chapters I started to realize that I really did need to have a target to strive for.  One that was more than a quick Google search and a guess.

Looking into this topic I am finding that the opinions vary greatly based on who you ask and what type of book you are writing and, of course, the target audience.

How many words are enough?

Young readers tend to appreciate short books while adult readers of fiction, especially science fiction or fantasy enjoy a much more lengthy book.

I remember when I was a kid. I read mostly fantasy books but I wouldn’t even consider buying the book if it wasn’t at least, three books long with more than 400 pages per each book.

I’m not writing Fantasy though and as far as Sci-Fi goes, I’ll ready shorter books but it still requires more than a couple books in a series to really get my attention.

This all comes down to a few questions.

How many words should I put in each book?

Knowing many readers share my thoughts on length and sequels, should I write two more and publish all three at once?



I am comfortable with 50k in the first book, knowing the next one is going to be closer to 70k. However, I do have a couple of interesting side-plots I could write into book one easily enough. There are a couple of chapters that shift point of view to a secondary character and I could add content that describes what’s happening to the main protagonist simultaneously.




Publish one at a time or wait?digital-self-publishing

This is a tough one for me.  With word-count, I could always just publish. I’m at least in the ballpark there. Publishing strategy is completely different. Here I need to consider my own purchasing patterns since I’m targeting readers like me as customers. I personally really want to get this book out there. It would be nice to either be validated as an author or laughed out of the game before I invest another [huge amount of hours] chunk of my life telling this story.

Another part of me believes that even if I did publish book one now, there is the potential that nobody will buy it until two or three of the series exist. Even if the book is a huge hit and madly popular, it may not sell a single copy simply because it’s the first of a promised minimum three books.

I take chances on new authors all the time but I probably wouldn’t consider buying the first book from a new author if it’s their only published work. If that author continues cranking out books, though, there is a perceived success value assigned to him or her. Obviously, if they’re still writing books, they must be selling well and as such, they must be pretty good. The truth is, maybe they’re just tenacious and they don’t give up.2016-03-14 22_27_02-quandry - Google Search

I've completed my first draft of my first book! Or have I?

Friday, March 11, 2016

Shirk your customer service duties at your peril!

2:21:21 PM Unfortunate customer service representative: I apologize for the wait time.
This gesture will get you killed in Brazil.

This gesture will get you killed in Brazil.

2:23:01 PM Me: Do I need to restate my problem?

2:24:10 PM Me: <bunch of crap about my site and 404 errors>

2:24:40 PM UCSR: I will check this for you.

2:25:41 PM UCSR: I have gone through your query. In order to proceed further I need to verify this chat.

<Verification commences>

2:26:48 PM UCSR: May I place you on hold for 4 to 5 minutes, while I check this for you?

2:26:55 PM Me: Yes! OMG YES! Do you have hold music? I love being on hold.

2:28:43 PM Me: I guess you don’t have music, so I started up my own.

2:29:15 PM Me: Currently listening to: Hold On by Walk Off the Earth while on hold.

2:30:56 PM UCSR: Thank you for holding.

2:31:10 PM Me: No problem! It was delightful and much needed.

2:31:19 PM UCSR: The DNS records of the domain were not updated properly.

2:31:27 PM UCSR: I have updated it for you.

2:31:35 PM Me: Huh. That’s odd, I bought the domain through you and the hosting through you.

2:31:37 PM UCSR: Once your DNS is updated, it may take anywhere from a 1-2 hours to 24 hours for your domain to resolve to your hosting account.

(No answer as to why they didn’t update their own DNS nameservers to the right ones… ?)

2:31:39 PM Me: Ok thanks! That’s quite a wide margin of error there on timing for your own nameservers to stop futzing around isn’t it? I mean, the 404 error is coming from your servers already.

2:31:47 PM UCSR: This timeline is determined by your ISP and how quickly they update their cache, however it is usually updated in a few hours.

2:31:56 PM UCSR: You’re welcome!

2:35:50 PM Me: Thanks for your help! Love and kisses!kisses

2:36:01 PM UCSR: You’re welcome!

2:36:11 PM UCSR: Is there anything else I can assist you with today?

2:36:17 PM Me: and kisses?

2:36:44 PM Me: … a hug maybe?

2:36:59 PM UCSR: Thank you for using Live Chat. If you could take a minute to let us know if your questions and/or support request was resolved, it would help us to improve our customer service. To do so, just click the button that says Rate and Exit in the upper right hand corner! The survey should take less than a minute to fill out.

2:37:09 PM Me: No hug… ? :(

2:37:09 PM UCSR: If you think of anything else, we are here 24 hours! Otherwise, have a great day! Take care! Bye!

2:37:11 PM Me: but hugs… HUGS?

2:37:17 PM This chat has ended.

Shirk your customer service duties at your peril!


So… adult diaper with cartoon superhero themes.

Trademark infringement? Damn you.


Monday, March 7, 2016

I am about to write the final chapter in book one.

Technically, I’m about to write the final two chapters but I’m considering dropping the second to last chapter as I’ve already established what I intended by this point in the story.

I am only going to end up with about 50k words in the first draft because everyone I talk to warns me not to describe too much of the scenery. I think the editor will have some information to be added which will increase the word count some but typically the word count is reduced, not increased.

Had I continued writing the way I had my initial few chapters then I am sure I’d have about 100k words by now! Thankfully, someone told me early on not to over describe my scenes, so I changed my behavior.

That’s great, but, how’s the story coming?

Well, I’m glad I asked.

I’ve set up a nice repeatable storyline for the group of characters in my book to explore various conditions and events that might take place after a global catastrophe.

I am excited to finally be getting so close to writing the final chapter, which I’ve been thinking about and writing over and over in my head


Cliffhanger. Yep.

since I started chapter one. I could’ve written the last chapter anytime I wanted, of course, but I feel like if you have to wait to read it, I’ll wait to write it. I want to be on the same page as the reader when it happens so I can get a good sense of how the reader will feel when they read it.


The last chapter is going to take some serious work. The group still has a mission but the final chapter in this book ups the stakes and increases the number and types of difficulties they’re going to face considerably.


I am about to write the final chapter in book one.

Sunday, March 6, 2016

A snippet I added to my story in honor of an old friend.

     “This is Cecil!” The man the swept up a small pile of rocks from the chair and


This isn’t at all what Cecil looks like. Cecil is a three-rock compilation.

showed them to Gina with a flourish. “He has been my companion for many years.”

Gina could see the pile of rocks was glued together and they had a face crudely painted on them. Gina couldn’t help but to giggle. “My apologies Mister…”

The man said, “Hammurabi Finch, and Master Cecil, at your service.” He then gave Gina a deep bow.


This is where the entire story begins to revolve around Cecil!

Actually. No, No it doesn’t.

A snippet I added to my story in honor of an old friend.

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Woof Washer! The best damn product since... just kidding, I'm gonna rip into it.

Woof Washer? Are you fucking kidding me?


Taste the smokey ammonia and sulphur flavor!

Woof Washer? This is the dumbest idea I’ve ever seen mass produced. Even more stupid than the Car Exhaust Grill.

Dogs love it!  Let’s have a peek.

Ordering couldn’t be easier. Just call the number and buy one for the universally recognized price for absolute shit, $19.99. Of course, then there’s the $7.99 shipping and handling on a product the distribution warehouse is going to ship to you, possibly in a brown envelope, for about $1.00.

I bet you never spray yourself in the face with dog shampoo. Not even once.

Woof Washer

Amazing Deal! (for them)

Let’s assume you’re confident in this product and you’d really like that free hose! That’s awesome, because with this special limited time offer you can get not one, but two Woof Washers for $19.99 plus the $7.99 shipping and handling and then just add $12.99 for no reason, it’s just a fee when in reality, you’re paying for two Woof Washers and the free hose at this price.

Whatever! You have dogs to wash! You order it.

2016-03-05 12_12_49-Woof Washer 360™ _ Official Site _ 360 Degrees of Clean!

Look! I’m super happy! This is my happy face!

It’s made of plastic, so you know it’ll last forever, just, maybe not in one piece.

Getting this product hooked up and working is the easy part. Wait until Rover see it! Where’d Rover go? That’s right, he ran the fuck away from you and your sadistic new toy. Go get him.

Once you finally start to clean Rover you’ll quickly realize that a garden hose was hard enough but now you’re taking the water from one hose and spreading thinly amongst, what, forty water-streams? That’s pressure right there. Pressure to figure out how to get all that damn shampoo off Rover. Good luck.

2016-03-05 12_12_58-Woof Washer 360™ _ Official Site _ 360 Degrees of Clean!

This pooch clearly hates this thing; I am fairly certain he’s plotting to kill you.

Woof Washer! The best damn product since... just kidding, I'm gonna rip into it.

Friday, March 4, 2016

Motivation for writing

There are a lot of distractions in the world and they must be managed.

One of the ways I can ensure I write is to go someplace where there is no internet connection.hand-net  Those places are becoming more and more difficult to find but I think an alternative would be an application that disconnects me from the internet and keeps me disconnected for 60 minutes.

There are programs out there that will disconnect me at a certain time or after a certain number of minutes but what I need is actually the opposite. Yes, I lack discipline.






I don’t really lack discipline but the temptations, they are great.


Motivation for writing