Friday, September 30, 2016

How I Survived the Rapture

Well, I guess we were wrong about the whole “people being taken to heaven” thing not being real. It’s real. People have disappeared.


It happened this morning at 8:17am, which would’ve been 7:77am, if we kept track of time wrong, but we don’t. So, it was 8:17am. A strange time for a bunch of people to go missing. I know what you’re thinking, but, it wasn’t all mayhem and confusion. It was more of an inconvenience. Let me explain.


I was walking across the street to Starbucks when an empty car coasted to a stop a few feet away. I thought,  “cool, autonomous car.” I shrugged and went inside to order a coffee.


This is where things got wild. The store was populated with the usual patrons but there was no staff. Hot coffee and steam blasted out of the espresso machine.

“Son of a bitch!” I said. Who’s going to make my hot mocha? I looked over at some random college girl and raised my eyebrows. College girl rolled her eyes at me.

I told her, “well, I don’t know how to operate the damn thing.”

She responded, “I’m a history major.” She adds a shrug.

“I know what you mean. Good luck with that.”

She flipped her middle finger at me, showed me her full coffee cup as she turned and left.

I peered over the counter and saw a pile of clothes.

… To be continued?

How I Survived the Rapture